What Happened to Play and Why Do We Need it Back?

What is play?

Play is anything we do for fun without any other purpose. Play does not have to be parent-orchestrated or elaborate. In fact, some of the best play happens when parents step back and allow children to establish their own play. Play dates with other children can certainly be beneficial and fun, but daily, child-led, unstructured play is crucial to our children’s development. In child-led play the child decides what to play and how to play it. If an adult is playing, too, they should follow the child’s lead without changing the flow, asking a lot of questions, or making any new play “rules.” This “lack of effort” on the adult’s part can actually take some effort, because as parents, we are so accustomed to orchestrating most aspects of our child’s daily life.

What does play look like?

Unstructured, child-led play might look like playing alone with toys, inviting a parent or sibling to play, or going on “adventures” in the backyard. The possibilities are really endless with unstructured play.

 It is important to mention that neurotypical and neurodivergent play might look different, but both types of play are valuable and should be respected and encouraged. Neurodivergent play may look like a child focusing on one area of a toy, such as the wheels on a toy car, repetitive movements, or organizing toys in a specific manner. Regardless of what some professionals might tell you or even your personal feelings about this type of play, neurodivergent children do not need to be “taught” to play with toys in a neurotypical fashion. Play is anything that is fun to the individual and as long as the child is safe and keeping those around them safe, their interests should be encouraged.

Why is play so important?

The importance of play is not a new concept: Maria Montessori said, “Play is the work of the child,” and Jean Piaget believed that “play is the answer of how anything new comes about.”

Play truly is the work of the child. Through play, children develop important cognitive, social, emotional, and physical skills. Play also cultivates a child’s creativity, imagination, and problem-solving skills. Play helps build a child’s confidence, resilience, and exposes them to new challenges. In fact, studies have shown that children learn new skills with much less repetition through play than when presented in isolation.

So, what has happened to play?

There are likely many reasons today’s child has fewer opportunities and/or less time for self-directed play. Play, in early childhood especially, has changed due to current school curricula and the mounting pressure to teach “school readiness” to our children at a surprisingly early age.

Preschools, early childhood centers, and parents feel the burden to teach academic readiness at an increasingly young age out of fear that their children will be behind peers when they start kindergarten. This concept is painfully ironic when considering the origins of kindergarten. Friedrich Froebel established the first “child garden” in the mid-19th century. Froebel believed that children were like tiny flowers that needed to be cared for and that kindergarten should be a place where children could learn through self-directed play under guidance of a teacher. Now doesn’t that sound beautiful?

Unfortunately, school standards have changed dramatically over recent decades and children are now expected to be early readers by the time they leave kindergarten. Cognitively, most children are ready to read around age seven. These expectations in early elementary school pressure caregivers and early childhood educators to teach children pre-literacy and other academic skills before they even enter kindergarten. With all the push for academics, there is less and less time for traditional play. The pressure to teach academic skills to younger and younger children has led us away from the very means by which children learn- through play.

Play also looks a little different than when many of us were children. Today, children’s schedules are packed with extra-curricular activities, play dates, homework, and screen time. The world also seems different and sadly less safe. I love the idea of letting school-age children head outside on the weekends to have hours-long adventures with their friends, but I can’t actually imagine ever letting my children do this. Thankfully, there are many steps we can take to make sure our children have frequent opportunities for play.

How can we defend play?

The first idea is really to do nothing. What? Too easy! Set up your environment with a few toys and if your child is already showing the skills required to play alone, step back and see what happens. Your child might invite you to play, ask for your help, or get started on their own.

If your child is not yet playing independently, sit with them and model the type of play that they may be interested in. You can show them how a closed-ended toy (e.g., puzzle, cause and effect toy) works or you can model play with an open-ended toy (e.g., blocks, dolls, kitchen toys), and include your child until they start initiating their own play.

Playing independently is a very important skill for children, but playing with their caregiver has many essential benefits as well. Dedicate 10-15 minutes daily to play WITH your child. This is completely child-led play. Give them 100% of your attention and play whatever their little heart desires. Don’t like tea parties, drink up, baby! No interest in Pokemon, you’ll soon by pulling out facts about characters whose names you only recently learned to pronounce.

The point of this time, of course, is to give genuine and enthusiastic attention to your children. Make your child’s interests important to you and you will be showing your child that they are important to you. This will likely improve your connection, your mood, and your child’s positive feelings about themselves.

A few more ideas to encourage play:

·      Let your kids get a little bored. So much creativity can originate out of boredom. 

·      Put together a basket of household items. Young children especially love to explore real items over traditional toys.

·      Encourage a game of “restaurant” while making dinner.

·      Let your kids get a little messy or (I’m going to say it) make a mess.

·      Place a few kitchen items outside for supervised water or sand play

·      Get off Pinterest (but not permanently). This is not the time for beautifully-crafted toys or activities. This is nitty-gritty, daily play. We want it to be sustainable and easily accessible to our children and low-effort on our part.

The truth is that children are naturally curious, creative, and imaginative. However, many of the required and free-time activities available in our fast-paced world do not effectively cultivate these strengths. With a few simple changes and by shifting our own perspectives on what makes our children successful and ready for the future, we will be facilitating their natural inclination to learn and develop.

Want more ideas about play? Follow the First Comes Play Speech Therapy, Inc. Instagram page for more play and language development ideas!